Why Is Japanese language Like This? Common Pitfalls for Foreign Learners

An Insider’s Guide to the Most Confusing Aspects of Japanese language

Learning Japanese can feel like navigating a maze, especially when you encounter concepts that don’t have direct equivalents in English.
Have you ever wondered why the simple English verb “get” turns into “morau” or “ageru” depending on who is giving to whom in Japanese?
Or why a plain plate is “ichimai” (一枚) but a plate with food on it becomes “hitosara” (一皿)?
It might also seem strange that a live fish swimming in a pond is “ippiki” (一匹), yet a whole fish at the market is “ichibi” (一尾).
If you’ve felt this way, you’re certainly not alone!
These are common sticking points for many learners.

Compared to English, Japanese often directly incorporates subtle nuances related to social context, human relationships, and the state of things into its vocabulary and grammar.
This means understanding who is speaking to whom, who or what is being discussed, and the overall situation is incredibly important.

This blog post will shed light on these “tricky” but fascinating aspects of Japanese. We’ll explore why these differences exist, providing clearer explanations and concrete examples to help you confidently navigate these complexities.
Let’s open the door to the depth of the Japanese language together!

The Labyrinth of Giving and Receiving Verbs: “Ageru,” “Morau,” “Kureru,” and Their Honorific Forms

The Basic Concept: Who Gives What to Whom?

At its core, you use “ageru” when you give something to someone else, and “morau” when you receive something from someone else.
Most learners grasp this initially.
However, Japanese giving and receiving expressions also include another crucial verb: “kureru.” This verb is used when someone gives something to me (the speaker) or someone in my in-group (“uchi”).
This distinction often causes confusion.

• Example: 友達が私にプレゼントをくれた。(Tomodachi ga watashi ni purezento o kureta.) – My friend gave me a present.

The choice of these verbs depends on the direction of the object or action, with the speaker as the central point of reference.

The Importance of “Uchi” (In-Group) and “Soto” (Out-Group), and Social Hierarchy

The selection of giving and receiving verbs is heavily influenced by whether the giver and receiver belong to the speaker’s “uchi” (in-group, e.g., family, close colleagues) or “soto” (out-group, e.g., strangers, distant acquaintances), as well as their social status (superior, equal, inferior).
This awareness of “uchi” and “soto” and the recognition of hierarchy are vital elements in Japanese communication.

When something is given from “Uchi” (my side) to “Soto” (their side):

• To a superior:“Sashiageru” (さしあげる)
  • Example: 先生にレポートをさしあげます。(Sensei ni repōto o sashiagemasu.) – I will (humbly) give the report to the teacher.
• To an equal:“Ageru” (あげる)
  • Example: 友達にプレゼントをあげました。(Tomodachi ni purezento o agemashita.) – I gave a present to my friend.
• To an inferior, animal, or plant:“Yaru” (やる) / “Ageru” (あげる)
  • Example: 犬にえさをやる。(Inu ni esa o yaru.) – I give food to the dog. / 孫におもちゃをやりました。(Mago ni omocha o yarimashita.) – I gave my grandchild a toy.

When something is received by “Uchi” (my side) from “Soto” (their side):

• From a superior:“Itadaku” (いただく)
  • Example: 社長にお土産をいただきました。(Shachō ni omiyage o itadakimashita.) – I (humbly) received a souvenir from the president.
• From an equal or inferior:“Morau” (もらう)
  • Example: 友達にチョコレートをもらいました。(Tomodachi ni chokorēto o moraimashita.) – I received chocolate from my friend.

When something is given from “Soto” (their side) to “Uchi” (my side or my in-group):

• From a superior:“Kudasaru” (くださる)
  • Example: 先生が本をくださいました。(Sensei ga hon o kudasaimashita.) – The teacher (respectfully) gave me a book.
• From an equal or inferior:“Kureru” (くれる)
  • Example: 弟が宿題を手伝ってくれた。(Otōto ga shukudai o tetsudatte kureta.) – My younger brother helped me with my homework.

As you can see, giving and receiving expressions don’t just indicate the movement of objects; they weave human relationships and social standing directly into the language.
This is a significant difference from languages like English, where a single verb can cover many situations, and it reflects Japanese society’s strong awareness of social structure and relationships.

Exchanging Actions: “~te ageru,” “~te morau,” “~te kureru”

These giving and receiving verbs can combine with the “te-form” of other verbs to express the exchange of actions (or favors/benefits).

• (私は)友達に本を貸してあげました。(Watashi wa tomodachi ni hon o kashite agemashita.) – I lent a book to my friend (as a favor from me).
• (私は)友達に本を貸してもらいました。(Watashi wa tomodachi ni hon o kashite moraimashita.) – I had my friend lend me a book (I received the favor).
• 友達が私に本を貸してくれました。(Tomodachi ga watashi ni hon o kashite kuremashita.) – My friend lent a book to me (for me, as a favor).

Notably, “~te kureru” and “~te morau” often include the speaker’s feeling of gratitude.
For instance, while “兄が私にギターを教えたんだ” (Ani ga watashi ni gitā o oshieta n da) simply states a fact, saying “兄が私にギターを教えてくれたんだ” (Ani ga watashi ni gitā o oshiete kureta n da) implies a feeling of “Thank you for teaching me.”

The “Unwelcome” “Morau”: Exceptional Usage

While “morau” is generally used for receiving something good, it can idiomatically be used for receiving something undesirable. This is a point learners should be aware of.

• Example: 父からげんこつをもらった。(Chichi kara genkotsu o moratta.) – I got a punch from my father.
• Example: 母から小言をもらった。(Haha kara kogoto o moratta.) – I got a scolding from my mother.

Similarly, “yaru” can sometimes be used in contexts where the recipient experiences a disadvantage.
For example, the phrase “死んでやるから” (Shinde yaru kara), meaning “I’ll just die (to spite you),” is used to express a threat or strong determination towards someone, not an act of benefit.

Giving/Receiving Expressions: A Quick Reference Guide

To help you understand these complex giving and receiving expressions, here’s a summary table. Observe how the appropriate verb changes depending on who gives to whom and what their relationship is.

Mastering these expressions is vital for effective communication in Japanese. Practice choosing the appropriate word while keeping the relationship with the other person in mind.

Counting Things in Many Ways: The Wonderland of Japanese Counters

English has words like “a slice of bread” or “a flock of birds” for counting specific items, but the variety of Japanese counters (助数詞 – josūshi) goes far beyond that. They are meticulously chosen based on an object’s shape, state, and even historical context, which can sometimes make learning Japanese feel challenging for foreign learners.

Learners’ Questions: Counting Plates and Fish

Plates (お皿 – osara):

• 一枚 (ichimai): Used for flat, thin, empty plates.
  • Example: お皿を一枚ください。(Osara o ichimai kudasai.) – One plate, please.
• 一皿 (hitosara): Used for a plate with food on it, signifying “one dish” or “one serving.”
  • Example: カレーを一皿注文しました。(Karē o hitosara chūmon shimashita.) – I ordered one dish of curry.

Fish (魚 – sakana):

• 一匹 (ippiki): Used for living, swimming fish, or generally smaller animals.
  • Example: 池に魚が三匹泳いでいます。(Ike ni sakana ga sanbiki oyoide imasu.) – There are three fish swimming in the pond.
• 一尾 (ichibi): Used for whole fish, typically as sold at a fish market.
  • Example: この鯛を一尾ください。(Kono tai o ichibi kudasai.) – Please give me this one (whole) sea bream.
• 一本 (ippon): Used for large, long fish like tuna, or long slices of fish for sashimi.
  • Example: マグロを一本買った。(Maguro o ippon katta.) – I bought a whole tuna (a long fish).
• 一枚 (ichimai): Used for fish that have been filleted and dried (like dried fish), or flat slices of fish.

Counting Animals: More Than Just “Hiki” and “Tō”?

• 匹 (hiki)
  Used for relatively small animals like cats, dogs, and insects.
• 頭 (tō)
  Used for large animals like cows, horses, and elephants. A general guideline is “animals too large to be held.”

Why is a rabbit “ippa” (一羽)? Despite not being a bird, rabbits are counted using the counter for birds, “ha” (羽). There are several theories for this:

• Physical Similarity
  Some theories suggest rabbits’ long ears resemble birds’ wings, or their skeleton resembles that of a bird, or that a skinned rabbit looks like a plucked bird.
• Cultural Background
  A particularly fascinating theory rooted in food culture suggests that during a period influenced by Buddhism when eating four-legged animals was forbidden, people claimed rabbits were birds so they could be eaten.

Tricky Food Counters

• Squid (イカ – ika) and Octopus (タコ – tako):
  • When counted as living creatures: 匹 (hiki).
  • When counted as food items: 杯 (hai). This often surprises learners!
• Tofu (豆腐 – tōfu): 一丁 (icchō).
• Round vegetables like onions (玉ねぎ – tamanegi) or cabbage (キャベツ – kyabetsu): Sometimes counted with 玉 (tama).

Other Commonly Confusing Counters

• 本 (hon, bon, pon)
  Used for long, thin objects like pens, bottles, bananas, and trees. Also used for train/bus lines, and movie titles.
• 台 (dai)
  Used for machines, vehicles (that are placed down), and furniture, such as cars, computers, TVs, and beds.
• 枚 (mai)
  Used for thin, flat objects like paper, stamps, shirts, and CDs.
• 着 (chaku)
  Used for articles of clothing that are worn, like suits and coats.
• 足 (soku)
  Used for pairs of footwear, like shoes and socks.
• 膳 (zen)
  Used for a pair of chopsticks.

Counting People: “Hitori, Futari” vs. “~nin,” “~mei”

When counting people, the pronunciation and choice of word change with the number.

• 1 person: 一人 (hitori)
• 2 people: 二人 (futari)
• 3 or more people: ~人 (~nin) (e.g., 三人 (sannin), 四人 (yonin))
• ~名 (~mei): A more formal way to count people, often used in documents or official settings.

The Japanese counter system captures the physical world in remarkable detail, classifying objects not only by their type but also by their current state, shape, and even, as in the case of the rabbit, by historical and cultural contexts.
This means learners need to develop a keen “eye” for discerning these distinctions.

Common Objects and Their Counters: A Comprehensive List

Here’s a table of common objects and their counters that often confuse learners, with a focus on items whose count changes based on state or context.

Who Are You Talking To? Navigating Honorifics (Keigo)

Honorifics (敬語 – keigo) are a crucial element in Japanese communication for maintaining smooth human relationships, but their complexity often makes them a struggle for many learners. Honorifics are used to show respect to the listener or the person being talked about, to express humility about oneself, or to simply be polite.

The Three Pillars of Honorifics: An Overview

Honorifics are broadly divided into three categories: respectful language (尊敬語 – sonkeigo), humble language (謙譲語 – kenjōgo), and polite language (丁寧語 – teineigo).

• Respectful Language (尊敬語 – Sonkeigo)
  Elevates the actions or states of the listener or the person being talked about (typically a superior) to show respect.
  The subject is usually someone other than yourself.
  • Example: 先生はもうお帰りになりました。(Sensei wa mō okaeri ni narimashita.) – The teacher has already returned home (respectful).
• Humble Language (謙譲語 – Kenjōgo)
  Humbly lowers the actions or states of yourself or your in-group to indirectly show respect to the other person.
  Used when your action is directed towards or related to the other person.
  • Example: 私がご案内いたします。(Watashi ga go-annai itashimasu.) – I will guide you (humble).
• Polite Language (丁寧語 – Teineigo)
  Shows politeness to the listener regardless of their status.
  The most basic form is the “desu/masu” style.
  • Example: 明日は休みです。(Ashita wa yasumi desu.) – Tomorrow is a holiday (polite).

Special Verb Conjugations

In respectful and humble language, many basic verbs change into special forms.
These need to be memorized but are incredibly useful once learned.

• 行く (iku – to go):
  • Respectful: いらっしゃる (irassharu)
  • Humble: 参る (mairu)
• 来る (kuru – to come):
  • Respectful: いらっしゃる (irassharu)
  • Humble: 参る (mairu)
• いる (iru – to be):
  • Respectful: いらっしゃる (irassharu)
  • Humble: おる (oru)
• 食べる (taberu – to eat):
  • Respectful: 召し上がる (meshiagaru)
  • Humble: いただく (itadaku)
• 言う (iu – to say):
  • Respectful: おっしゃる (ossharu)
  • Humble: 申す (mōsu) / 申し上げる (mōshiageru)
• 見る (miru – to see):
  • Respectful: ご覧になる (goran ni naru)
  • Humble: 拝見する (haiken suru)
• する (suru – to do):
  • Respectful: なさる (nasaru)
  • Humble: いたす (itasu)

The Versatile “O” and “Go”: More Than Just Adornments!

The prefixes “o-” (お) and “go-” (ご) are used as part of honorifics for nouns and verbs, or as beautifying language (美化語 – bikago) to make words sound more elegant and refined.

• Examples of Beautifying Language
  お酒 (o-sake – alcohol), ご飯 (go-han – rice/meal), お茶 (o-cha – tea), お金 (o-kane – money), お天気 (o-tenki – weather).
  These are used to make the language itself more polite, rather than directly showing respect to the listener.
• Examples of Respectful Language
  お名前 (o-namae – (your) name), ご住所 (go-jūsho – (your) address), お持ちになる (o-mochi ni naru – to (honorifically) have/hold).
• Examples of Humble Language
  お手紙 (o-tegami – (my humble) letter [when writing to someone respected]), ご連絡する (go-renraku suru – I will (humbly) contact you).

There’s a basic rule for distinguishing between “o-” and “go-“: generally, “o-“ is attached to native Japanese words (和語 – wago), while “go-“ is attached to words of Chinese origin (漢語 – kango).

• Example: お話 (o-hanashi – wago), ご相談 (go-sōdan – kango)

However, there are many exceptions, such as お食事 (o-shokuji – kango but takes “o-“) and ごゆっくり (go-yukkuri – wago but takes “go-“).

Common Mistakes: Double Honorifics and Improper Usage

When using honorifics, it’s crucial to avoid excessive or grammatically incorrect forms, known as double honorifics (二重敬語 – nijuu-keigo).

• Example of Double Honorific (Incorrect): 社長がおっしゃられた。(Shachō ga ossharareta.)
  • “Osharu” (おっしゃる) is already respectful language, and “~rareru” (~られる) is also a respectful form, so the respect is redundant.
  • Correct: 社長がおっしゃった。(Shachō ga osshatta.)
• Also, avoid adding “sama” (様) to a person’s job title.
  For example, “buchō-sama” (部長様) is generally incorrect; just “buchō” (部長) is sufficient.

Honorifics are not just about choosing polite words; they are a comprehensive grammatical system for precisely expressing relationships with the listener, the person being discussed, and oneself.
Their complexity arises from the need to manage these elements simultaneously.
Beautifying language, while related, is slightly different, serving to refine overall speech rather than strict hierarchical respect.

Honorific Verb Changes: A Quick Reference

Here’s a table of common verbs and their respectful and humble forms. These are essential for honorific communication but can be challenging to memorize.
Use this as a reference.

Feeling Through Words: The Expressive Power of Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia is one of the distinct features that showcase the richness of the Japanese language, possessing a diversity far exceeding English expressions like “Bang!” or “Woof!” Japanese onomatopoeia can vividly express not only sounds but also states, manners, and even emotions.

Beyond “Dokan” and “Wanwan”: The World of Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia is broadly divided into two main categories: giongo (擬音語 – sound-mimicking words), which imitate actual sounds, and gitaigo (擬態語 – state/manner-mimicking words), which describe states, manners, or emotions rather than sounds.

• Giongo (擬音語 – Sound-Mimicking Words)
  Represents animal sounds, natural sounds, or sounds produced by objects.
  • Example: Rain sounds (雨の音 – ame no oto): “Zāzā” (ザーザー – heavy rain), “Shitoshito” (しとしと – gentle rain), “Parapara” (パラパラ – light, sprinkling rain).
  • Example: Animal sounds: “Wanwan” (ワンワン – dog’s bark), “Nyānyā” (ニャーニャー – cat’s meow).
• Gitaigo (擬態語 – State/Manner-Mimicking Words)
  Describes the state, appearance, emotions, or movements of things, unrelated to direct sound. This category is particularly rich in Japanese.
  • Example: “Kirakira” (キラキラ – sparkling), “Fuwafuwa” (ふわふわ – soft and fluffy).
• Gijōgo (擬情語 – Emotion-Mimicking Words)
  Words expressing feelings or psychological states, sometimes considered a subcategory of gitaigo.
  • Example: “Dokidoki” (ドキドキ – heart pounding with excitement or nervousness), “Iraira” (イライラ – feeling irritated or frustrated).

Subtle Nuances of Actions and Emotions

Using onomatopoeia allows for the effective communication of subtle nuances.

Ways of Laughing:

• ニコニコ (nikoniko)
  Smiling gently and continuously.
  (Example: 赤ちゃんがニコニコしている。- The baby is smiling gently.)
• ニヤニヤ (niyaniya)
  Grinning suggestively, as if knowing something or plotting.
  Can sometimes give a slightly creepy impression.
  (Example: 何かを企んでニヤニヤしている。- Grinning slyly, plotting something.)
• ゲラゲラ (geragera)
  Laughing loudly and boisterously.
  (Example: 冗談を聞いてゲラゲラ笑う。- Laughing loudly at a joke.)
• クスクス (kusukusu)
  Giggling softly, stifling a laugh.
  (Example: 授業中にクスクス笑う。- Giggling in class.)

Pain:

• ズキズキ (zukizuki):
  A throbbing, pulsating pain (e.g., headache, toothache).
  (Example: 頭がズキズキする。- My head is throbbing.)
• ヒリヒリ (hirihiri)
  A burning or stinging pain, like a sunburn or scrape.
  (Example: 日焼けで肌がヒリヒリする。- My skin stings from sunburn.)
• チクチク (chikuchiku)
  A prickly, poking pain, or an uncomfortable sensation from clothing.
  (Example: セーターがチクチクする。- The sweater is itchy/prickly.)

Ways of Walking:

• トボトボ (tobotobo):
  Walking sluggishly, without energy.
  (Example: 試験に落ちてトボトボ帰る。- Walking home dejectedly after failing the exam.)
• スタスタ (sutasuta)
  Walking briskly and confidently.
  (Example: 彼は怒ってスタスタと部屋を出て行った。- He angrily walked briskly out of the room.)
• ヨチヨチ (yochiyochi)
  A baby’s unsteady, wobbly walk.
  (Example: 赤ちゃんがヨチヨチ歩く。- The baby is tottering along.)

Japanese onomatopoeia, especially gitaigo, offers a rich and concise way to convey sensory and emotional information.
They allow the language to capture subtle nuances of states and feelings that might require lengthy descriptions in English.
This reflects a linguistic and cultural tendency to express and convey minute experiential details.

Who is “I”? Where is “You”? The Usage of First and Second-Person Pronouns

Unlike English, which has universal first and second-person pronouns like “I” and “you” that can be used in almost any situation, Japanese does not.
The appropriate word changes depending on who is speaking, who is being spoken to, the formality of the situation, gender, age, and more.
This reflects how much Japanese emphasizes human relationships and social standing.

The Many Faces of “I”

Words for “I” in Japanese are chosen based on the situation.

• 私 (watashi):
  The most common and versatile, used by both men and women in formal settings, with strangers, or with superiors.
• わたくし (watakushi)
  Even more polite and formal than “watashi.”
• 僕 (boku)
  Primarily used by men, especially younger men, in informal to semi-formal situations.
  It sounds somewhat softer or boyish.
• 俺 (ore)
  Very informal, used by men among close friends or family.
  Can sound rough or overly assertive.
  Should be avoided with superiors or strangers.
• あたし (atashi)
  Informal, primarily used by women.
  Sounds more casual and softer than “watashi.”
• うち (uchi)
  Primarily used by women (though also by men in some regions like Kansai).
  Carries a nuance of “my side” or “our group,” and is often used in intimate settings.
  It has become popular among young women recently.
• 自分 (jibun)
  Means “oneself,” but can also be used as a first-person pronoun by people in sports teams or similar groups.
  In the Kansai region, it can even be used as a second-person pronoun meaning “you,” which can be confusing.

The Peril of Using “Anata” (You)

In Japanese, second-person pronouns (words equivalent to “you”) are not used as frequently as in English.
Using them incorrectly can be considered rude, so caution is advised.

• あなた (anata)
  While generally considered a polite second-person pronoun, using it with superiors or people you don’t know well can sound distant, too direct, or even condescending.
  It’s often used by a wife when addressing her husband.
• 君 (kimi)
  Used by a superior when addressing an inferior, or between men.
  Using it in inappropriate situations can sound condescending.
• おまえ (omae)
  Very informal, used by men to close friends (regardless of gender) or inferiors.
  Using it with superiors or strangers is highly disrespectful.
• そちら (sochira), お宅 (otaku – literally “your home,” meaning “your side/your family”)
  More polite and indirect ways to refer to the second person.

Recommended Address: Names and Titles

In Japanese, it’s generally more common and polite to address someone by their name or job title, usually with “-san” (さん) or “-sama” (様), rather than using a direct second-person pronoun.

• Example: 田中さん (Tanaka-san), 部長 (buchō – Manager)

The complexity and context-dependency of Japanese pronouns, along with the tendency to avoid frequent use of second-person pronouns, highlight how much this language prioritizes social hierarchy and relational positioning.
The choice of pronoun is always an act of social judgment.

Who Does What? Distinguishing Transitive and Intransitive Verbs

Japanese verbs often come in pairs that distinguish whether an action is performed by an agent on an object (transitive verbs) or if it occurs naturally without a specific agent (intransitive verbs). This distinction significantly impacts sentence structure and particle usage, making it a crucial point for learners.

Basic Differences

• Transitive verbs (他動詞 – tadōshi)
  Express an action performed by an agent on an object (direct object).
  The direct object is typically marked by the particle “o” (を).
  • Example: 電気をつけます。(Denki o tsukemasu.) – I turn on the light. (Agent: I, Object: light)
• Intransitive verbs (自動詞 – jidōshi)
  Express a state or an action that occurs naturally, often without a specific agent.
  The subject is often marked by the particle “ga” (が).
  • Example: 電気がつきます。(Denki ga tsukimasu.) – The light turns on (by itself/naturally). (Subject: light)

Confusing Pairs

Many verbs have transitive and intransitive pairs that sound or look similar but differ in meaning and particle usage.

• 開ける (akeru – to open something) / 開く (aku – something opens)
  • ドアを開ける (Doa o akeru) – I open the door. / ドアが開く (Doa ga aku) – The door opens.
• 閉める (shimeru – to close something) / 閉まる (shimaru – something closes)
  • 窓を閉める (Mado o shimeru) – I close the window. / 窓が閉まる (Mado ga shimaru) – The window closes.
• 入れる (ireru – to put something in) / 入る (hairu – something enters)
  • 箱に本を入れる (Hako ni hon o ireru) – I put a book in the box. / 猫が部屋に入る (Neko ga heya ni hairu) – The cat enters the room. (Note: “ni” is used for the location of entry.)
• 出す (dasu – to take something out) / 出る (deru – something goes out)
  • ゴミを出す (Gomi o dasu) – I take out the trash. / バスが出る (Basu ga deru) – The bus departs.
• つける (tsukeru – to turn something on) / つく (tsuku – something turns on)
• 消す (kesu – to turn something off/erase) / 消える (kieru – something turns off/disappears)
• 壊す (kowasu – to break something) / 壊れる (kowareru – something breaks)

Particle Clues: “O” and “Ga”

The direct object of a transitive verb is typically marked by “o,” while the subject of an intransitive verb (especially when describing a state or natural occurrence) is often marked by “ga.”

However, “ga” can also mark the subject of a transitive verb (especially when presented as new information).
The core distinguishing feature between transitive and intransitive verbs is the presence or absence of a direct object marked by “o.”

Exceptions: Intransitive Verbs Taking “O” (Verbs of Movement)

Some intransitive verbs, particularly those expressing movement, can take the particle “o” to indicate the space or path through which the action passes.
In this case, “o” does not mark a direct object.

• Example: 公園を散歩する。(Kōen o sanpo suru.) – I walk through/around the park. (“Sanpo suru” is intransitive.)
• Example: トンネルを抜ける。(Tonneru o nukeru.) – I pass through the tunnel. (“Nukeru” is intransitive.)

Understanding the distinction between transitive and intransitive verbs is fundamental for accurately conveying agency and structure in Japanese sentences.
Many paired verbs are morphologically similar, and particles play a decisive role, making this a frequent area of confusion for learners.
Grasping this distinction is key to understanding and using more complex expressions.

Communicating Without Saying: Indirect Communication in Japanese

In Japanese culture, there’s a tendency to prefer indirect expressions over direct ones to avoid burdening others or appearing demanding.
This is evident in various communication scenarios, including making requests, refusing, expressing gratitude, and apologizing.

The Art of Indirect Requests

When asking someone for a favor, Japanese speakers often frame it as a suggestion or consultation to soften the command-like tone.

Common expressions:

• “~te itadakemasen ka?” (～ていただけませんか。) – A very polite request, asking if they would be able to do something for you.
• “~temo yoroshii deshou ka?” (～てもよろしいでしょうか。) – Asking for permission, which can indirectly imply a request.
• “~itadakeru to saiwaidesu.” (～いただけると幸いです。) – “It would be fortunate if you could do ~” (meaning: “I would be grateful if you could ~”).
• Starting with a preamble like “ちょっとお願いがあるんですけど…” (Chotto onegai ga aru n desu kedo…) – “I have a small favor to ask, but…” before getting to the main point is also common.

Cultural Background: This approach is driven by a desire to maintain harmony, leaving room for the other person to refuse and avoiding direct confrontation.

Soft Ways to Decline

Directly saying “No” (いいえ – iie) can sometimes be perceived as a strong rejection.
Therefore, softer ways of declining are often used.

Common methods:

• Vague excuses: “今日はちょっと…” (Kyō wa chotto…) – “Today is a bit difficult for me…” (implies inconvenience without specifying).
• Stating difficulty: “それは難しいですね…” (Sore wa muzukashii desu ne…) – “That would be difficult…”
• Formal consideration: “検討させていただきます。” (Kentō sasete itadakimasu.) – “(Humbly) I will consider it.” This often serves as a polite refusal.

Indirect Expressions of Gratitude

Beyond the direct “Arigatō” (ありがとう), there are many ways to express gratitude.

• おかげさまで (okagesama de)
  “Thanks to you” or “Thanks to (a good situation/fortune).”
  This expresses humble gratitude, indicating that a positive outcome was due to someone’s help or favorable circumstances.
  Can be used for superiors too.
  • Example: お陰様で、体調がよくなりました。(Okagesama de, taichō ga yokunarimashita.) – Thanks to you/your well wishes, my condition has improved.
• 恐れ入ります (osoreirimasu
  Used especially in business, expressing gratitude or feeling obliged when someone has gone to trouble for you, or when making a request.
  Very polite.
• すみません (sumimasen)
  When someone does something troublesome for you, “sumimasen” can express gratitude with a nuance of “I’m sorry for bothering you, and thank you.”

Nuances of Apology

The choice of apology word largely depends on the severity of the mistake and the relationship with the other person.

• ごめんなさい (gomen nasai)
  More personal, used for friends and family.
  Inappropriate in business.
• すみません (sumimasen): A light apology, used to get attention, or for light gratitude (as mentioned above).
  In business, it’s often insufficient for serious apologies.
• 申し訳ありません (mōshiwake arimasen)
  The standard, polite apology in business settings.
• 申し訳ございません (mōshiwake gozaimasen)
  Even more polite than “mōshiwake arimasen,” expressing deeper remorse.
• お詫び申し上げます (o-wabi mōshiagemasu)
  A very formal apology expression.

Indirect communication in Japanese is a sophisticated system developed to uphold “wa” (harmony), demonstrate “hairyo” (consideration) for others, and respect the boundaries of human relationships.
It’s not just beating around the bush; it’s wisdom for navigating social interactions smoothly.
Understanding the cultural values behind these expressions is key to interpreting and using them correctly.

Embracing the Nuance

We’ve explored several points where foreign learners often stumble when studying Japanese: giving/receiving expressions, counters, honorifics, onomatopoeia, personal pronouns, transitive/intransitive verbs, and indirect communication.

Indeed, these aspects of Japanese might initially feel incredibly complex and difficult.
They demand meticulous attention to context, human relationships, and subtle cues that may not exist in your native language.
However, this complexity is far from meaningless.
These elements are deeply intertwined with Japanese culture, ways of thinking, and social interactions.
Learning them means more than just memorizing grammar rules; it leads to a deeper insight into Japanese culture itself.

Please don’t be discouraged.
Every learner goes through a similar journey.
The more you expose yourself to authentic Japanese and consciously observe these patterns, the more intuitively you’ll understand them.
Try to view each moment where you feel “confused” as a clue to deeper understanding.
By embracing nuance, your Japanese learning journey will become even more enriching.

We hope this article has been helpful for your Japanese studies.
If there are other Japanese expressions you find particularly challenging, please let us know in the comments!

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